There are no quick fixes for relationships: If you really want different results from your relationship, then you're going to have to devote meaningful and substantial time and effort to it.

However, there is a very clear, simple formula for rejuvenating a relationship, one that is unbelievably powerful in its effect. It's not easy to put the formula into action, but it's easy to understand.

If you haven't actually done the work assigned in the preceding chapters, then you're not ready for the success formula. Have you honestly and carefully prepared yourself for what is to come? Test yourself. If any of the following statements are not true for you, then you are not ready:

• I realize that it's not too late
• It is reasonable for me to want a rewarding and fulfilling relationship
• I am entitled to, and deserve, a high-quality, caring relationship
• I have identified the wrong thinking that has previously contaminated my relationship
• I have identified the bad spirits that contaminated my relationship
• I have embraced the Personal Relationship Values that will configure me for success
• I have diagnosed and gotten real about the pain and problems in my relationship
• I accept and acknowledge full ownership of my contribution to where this relationship is
• I am committed to tapping into my core of consciousness

The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is build on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.

Applying this formula will require your utmost commitment and integrity.

Please note the formula's three key terms: Friendship, Needs and Quality.

The Friendship,
is the friendship that was there between you and your partner before the complications of love and romance muddied the waters. It is the friendship in which you regarded your now intimate partner with acceptance, approval and desire. It is the fundamental relationship that was born out of shared meaning and experiences in which you put forth the effort to be a good friend to a good friend. It is that time in your relationship that you laughed, shared and supported each other, not because you had to but because you wanted to.

The Needs,
your needs and your partner's needs, encompass a number of different categories. To say that you have a need in a particular area of your life is to acknowledge that you experience a void in that area. Certain of these needs can be met only by other human beings. Please know that "need" is not a synonym for weakness. The fact that you have needs, and that you must rely on another person to meet them, is a good and healthy thing.

The Quality,
if you experience your relationship as being rich with joy, excitement and a sense of meaning, then you're likely to rate the relationship as one of high quality. If loneliness, fear, anger and alienation characterize your experience, then you will of course rate the relationship as one of low quality.

Two people in the same relationship can have two very different experiences of that relationship.

Please understand that this formula for relationship success doesn't work just some of the time - it works all of the time. If you are completely happy in your relationship, but your partner simply is not, then you can bet that your partner's needs are not being met, and visa versa.

To make this formula work in your life, you've got two vitally important, complex and dangerous jobs to complete:

#1 - To make your needs known                         (Click here for the detailed Job #1)

#2 - To work to discover the needs of your partner  (Click here for the detailed Job #2)

If you're furious at your partner - feeling anger, bitterness, resentment and conflict between you, you'll be provided with step-by-step guidelines on how to work your way through those emotions. Remember the commitment that you have made: the goal is no longer to be right or to win the fight. The only way to win is to reconnect with your partner in a loving and caring way. Commit all of your focus and energy right now to getting this relationship back on solid, loving ground - and forget about the rest.